11 October 2010

these kids are sid

let'sss play with our toys
yes, let'sss play
we can share!
yeah okay!
okay yeah? well
maybe i don't wanna share
my toys
these kids
these guys
these guys are like
Sid. ya know? like sending my
baby-doll's head
soaring off into the
clouds, strapped to a roman candle
or my teddy bear's legs
okay? so maybe
i just don't wanna share

First Star On the Right


i like to draw with crayons


i like having a juice-box to drink


i'll eat cheerios for breakfast

any time of day


so what

if i want to wear a tu-tu


or even

fairy wings and


(only every day)

okay? so what!

like this i think i can

click my heels together and

end up

at home

just like this,

you see?

so yeah, okay,

there might be monsters

under my bed but

so what?

and yeah, okay,

i might play with play-doh

sometimes but

so what?

i like things that are

soft and

full of air or

fluff and

i am always learning because

like this

i never stop asking

why? and

yeah, okay,

so maybe i might

throw a tantrum

from time to time


isn't that just what it is?

it goes like this and

if you need to find me

you'll know where to look.

too many windows

so now... wait. where?

let's go investigate

wait, hold on . . .

hold on. no i'm ready

but it's a trap, wait!


don't spill this we're catching bugs to torture

with bubbles and

boiling water and

little plastic houses with

too many windows...

like we are in love with this place "though

its too many windows" and desert lillies blooming

scarlet veins or wisps of dreams gone to faintly by

but we try to remember.




24 September 2010

do you recall

right now, right now i
can't help but
the way
from room to room

the way you
sip your coffee, your tea, your wine
the trembling of your slender hands
cigarette clutched delicately between your cold
cold fingers

i do remember that,
your hands were always cold
even when i held them in mine
the coldness stayed.

when did this happen?
how did we get so
far from that place

it would be nice to visit
don't you think?
because right now
right now
i can't help but

green velvet couches
my head in your lap
you running your fingers through my hair
i never could stay awake like that

it's hard for me,
remembering things
all the things that happened

but i know that it is important
to try
and some things

some things never leave
the way your hands trembled
the feeling of your icy fingers
laced through mine

and the way you moved
from room to room.

05 April 2010

"... all i know is that you're so nice ..."

scent of purple cotton candy transports me back to opium den barn burnt squares of aluminum foil that yellow 1970s kitchen empty pen casings halves of straws purple cotton candy scented smoke loss of feeling DISASSOCIATION now we are numb and this is just the way we get by and we do what we can what we have to and just another quarter tonight (waittheseare60snot80s) so just another little quarter - we'llshareit - tonight maybe and maybe you've done enough now and maybe purple cotton candy smells too sweet and maybe just maybe we're killing ourselves this time so maybe you've done enough and i think you need to stop and you tell me that you can't and i am scared because i love you and i know that you have to stop and i also know that you can't and i am scared because i love you and i don't know how to help you and i want you to get better because i love you and i want to help but i don't know how anymore. i just want you to be okay without this and i am scared because you can't stop and
and please, you have to stop killing yourself because
you are killing me too.

for wesley

Let's play a game
I'll write a poem
in 25 lines or maybe less
and it will be
specific and
to the point.
a hook and a jab
a sucker-punch
right in the gut.
They'll never see it coming.
They won't know what hit 'em.
Right outta left field!
We'll catch 'em off guard.
That's the way to win a war.