missing flight

i think i can see, now, that i was just your substitute. for her.
and now that she's coming back, what's to become of us?
everything is going to change.
it won't be the same.
you'll want her more.
you'll want me less.
and i'll want you just the same.
nothing is going to change.
for me.

passing of time

i can't stop the breathing.

there's talking. conversation. inane. i'm in pain.

i can't stop breathing. i'm going insane.

i can't leave. stuck inside my head.

raindrops falling from the eaves

like blood draining from a wounded soul.

i can't stop breathing.

chest heaving. wracked with pain.

my heart is bleeding.

seething anger, my words won't flow.

cigarette ash falls like snow.

there's no where left to go.

but down.

i can't stop breathing.

couldn't tell you what happens

i feel like i'll be going along with my life, just fine, convincing myself that things have gotten easier, and then all of a sudden, it's like it all happened yesterday, and i'm rendered helpless, paralyzed with pain and sadness and the sting of memories and the way things were. then in moments, it will all have passed, like this tremendous hurricane of hurt.
and i'm left floating on my raft, bruised and battered, stranded in the middle of the ocean.
barely breathing and completely turned around, wondering what-ever happened.
and where to go from here.