26 February 2009

how do you say

i wouldn't call it lonely.
i'm surrounded by people.
i've all these friends.
loved ones
people who care

i wouldn't call it lonely, exactly.
i wouldn't even say
we're not. i'm not. no one really is
we're all in this together
"all together now!"
and apart.
all together, on our own.
we're all on our own.
all alone together.
show me someone who isn't alone
i'll show you
you could call it lonely.
you are all alone.

25 February 2009

thou shall not covet

i don't want what you have
that doesn't interest me
i desire not for that which you posses
and i know you don't believe me
i'm not sure if i believe me
convince me, please, that i don't want
what you have

19 February 2009

no reason

i just don't know what to say anymore.
this all feels so forced.
i can't make this flow.
i keep forgetting.
i keep.

must let go.

03 February 2009

probably not what you think

sit and think and wonder why
think about that
sit and drink and dwell on the lies
obsess about that
sit and think and why did i try
sink into your thoughts
sit and drink and let yourself cry
on the brink of self-realization
sit and think and what would it be like to fly
when you've lost your concentration
sit and drink and you've already said good-bye
when you've reached that point
sit and think and it's okay to die
so let go.

02 February 2009

self worth

how worth it is this?
how worth it is anything, ever, really?
there comes a point.
the point.
and you're
fed up
knocked up
doped up
you've fucked up.
and you break
because that's all that there is left
to do.
so was it even worth it?

01 February 2009

you won't remember what this was

kids playing quarters in the back of a classroom.
incomprehensible equations and formulas in the front.
and in the middle, where i sit, next to you
everything is calm.
all around is a world of chaos that i can not get a grasp on.
all around me things don't make sense.
all around me, things fall apart.
all around me, a life i thought i knew comes crashing down.
incomprehensible equations and formulas.
kids playing quarters.
and sitting here
in the rubble of my ruined life
next to you
i am calm.
and it all makes sense.

yesterday today tomorrow last night

I don't know where to start.
I don't know where we end.
How do you begin something that has yet to reach a conclusion?
End all.
Be all.
Have all.
Ashes, ashes, we all fall
Pockets full of posies.
Now you're stuck, and it's the end.
So where do you go from here?
Where do we start?
When does this end?