reasons why not

because i probably can't
because i feel inadequate
because i lack the confidence
because i don't want to
because it hurts too much
because i am afraid
because it might fail
because i don't know
because i'm too tired
too drunk
too lazy
too anxious
because i could do something else
because i need to be challenged
because i can't do it alone
because you never called
because i keep forgetting
you
just a little bit more
because i am alone
and
in pain
and
feeling listless
because you hurt me
because you broke me
because you left me
or i left you
either way.
because my heart was broken

that's why.
why i can't let you back in to my life
why i can't open up to you
why i can't let you come over
just to talk
why i can't do it anymore
why i don't want to start over
because i can't.
i can't start over
there's no such thing.
because i don't want to hurt
any more
because i don't want to be vulnerable
because i don't want you anymore
because i can't.
because i won't.
because i don't
love you anymore.

that's why.