trying

i'm trying to write. i'm trying to write. i'm trying to write.

remember when i wrote
about things like
lava and
skeletons
and
hearts being on fire

remember when i wrote
about things like
clouds and
star-shines
and
love

i'm trying to remember.
i'm trying to write.
and it's just not happening
like i want it to.

wesley told me i should just
lie
and no one would know
the difference
but i would know
and i think
maybe
lying is just
too easy
and it feels like
i'm cheating

so

i have to tell the truth

but

i'm not sure
if i even know what that is
anymore