missing flight

i think i can see, now, that i was just your substitute. for her.
and now that she's coming back, what's to become of us?
everything is going to change.
it won't be the same.
you'll want her more.
you'll want me less.
and i'll want you just the same.
nothing is going to change.
for me.

passing of time

i can't stop the breathing.

there's talking. conversation. inane. i'm in pain.

i can't stop breathing. i'm going insane.

i can't leave. stuck inside my head.

raindrops falling from the eaves

like blood draining from a wounded soul.

i can't stop breathing.

chest heaving. wracked with pain.

my heart is bleeding.

seething anger, my words won't flow.

cigarette ash falls like snow.

there's no where left to go.

but down.

i can't stop breathing.

couldn't tell you what happens

i feel like i'll be going along with my life, just fine, convincing myself that things have gotten easier, and then all of a sudden, it's like it all happened yesterday, and i'm rendered helpless, paralyzed with pain and sadness and the sting of memories and the way things were. then in moments, it will all have passed, like this tremendous hurricane of hurt.
and i'm left floating on my raft, bruised and battered, stranded in the middle of the ocean.
barely breathing and completely turned around, wondering what-ever happened.
and where to go from here.

what words are worth

wordswordswords words wordswords words wordswords words words words more fucking words all we are, just these god damned words words without meaning words for the sake of sound.
words god damned words cut apart and strung back together.
i can keep them from escaping if i pin them to the page.
and the pieces and they're falling and i'm falling into pieces.
broken pieces.

gotta get outta here

i'm so excited, i could barf.

i can hardly remember

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.

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i'm just looking for a voice... i'm afraid i've sold mine to the devil.

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glass and bone

hurting so much. not really sure why. heart feels shattered. glass and bone crashing down around me. watershed of pain and anger, keeping me from whatever could have become of this life. who's even listening anymore. should have seen the signs.
falling apart, piece by piece. ever day, something else, chipping away at the facade of happiness. who ever said i had to be happy? maybe i want to stay in bed all day, eyes leaking salt and liquid pain, imagining the way things might have been. maybe i don't want the sun to come out. i can be content in this gloom and fog. at least in it, i know i am not alone.